Maybe This Is Wishful Thinking

Probably just mindless dreaming. 

 I've come to learn in my life, if you don't think about it then good things will happen. Miley Cyrus, well Hannah Montana, once sang, "They say that good things take time, but really they happen in the blink of an eye".

I've really come to love this lyric. Things will happen when they are meant to. If I go looking for it then I will just be running in circles, trying to catch my tail. And by "IT", we all know I mean love. Love is such a strong word. I'm not looking for someone to spend my entire life with. For goodness sake, I am only 20 years old. There are so many people I know that are younger than me or my age that are getting married and having babies. I just can't see myself right now being tied down with a child on the way. I would be completely terrified. Yes, I love children. I love babysitting Sydni, a lovely, energetic 8 year old. But since I am such a pushover, letting her watch TV when her mom said she could only watch 30 minutes a day. My children would be running around my house like banshees. Anyways, I kind of trailed off in this blog. Basically, I am just looking for someone I am compatible with. Someone I can tell all my thoughts to (besides Monica and Rachael). Someone who I can lay with for hours just talking. Someone to hold me when I cry. Someone who understands me, even better than I understand myself. Knowing that someone will be there, even through the rough times. Recently, I've been noticing more and more couples on campus. Before, I wasn't so cynical about couples but I just find them disgusting. They just go around and flaunt their lovey doveyness around. I think I just have a somewhat guy mentality about relationships or maybe I just haven't found that someone that I want to be with all the time. Well I did, but that's another story for "the one that got away".  I just want a man to sweep me off my feet like in the movies. I want to miss someone when I just left their arms. But most importantly, I want to feel loved. Not in I feel sorry for myself kind of way but a I want to feel needed and cared for by someone else, if that makes any sense. 


There are so many songs about love, but why is it so hard to find? And so dang complicated? I mean if John Mayer can find love, cant an average person? There are millions of people on this earth, it cant be that hard. There are songs about falling in love, falling out of love, and dealing with it when its so complicated. Love is fearless. Love is learning to fall. Love is trusting someone to catch you in the end. Love is in the face of a child. 


I want to feel fearless.