I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you"

This song has been blowing through my speakers ever since Saturday night. Two of my friends had this guy picked out for about a month now saying we would be perfect together and that they were going to introduce us but many roadblocks got in the way. Finally, Saturday night one of my overly drunken friends managed to introduce us. Even though all we did was shake hands and introduce each other I still felt a spark there. This had to happen at the worst time..right before holiday breaks. All I can think about is how we will see each other again. Will it be in the hallway at school? In the cafeteria? On the sidewalk in the rain? Then the next troublesome thought is WHAT DO I SAY? I'm the type of person who just gets terrified with these types of things. Two things will happen. I will turn beat red for no reason or I will totally embarrass myself. However, life is about taking chances. I'm not saying I'm in love with this guy or even like him but it has been so long that I have had someone interested in me and it is just a good feeling to have once in awhile. We will just see what happens, it is mean to be it will happen but i need to put the effort out there too. I need to not think guys can read my mind and actually put myself out there.

In the meantime, there is snow on the ground. Roughly 6 inches here at my house and I don't like it one bit. I know I just sound bitter because I feel like everyone around me is just ecstatic about the snow and all its wonderfulness. I can see how the snow can be fun. In high school I loved it when it would snow this much because that meant no school. But, when I come home for a break from school I don't enjoy being stuck in my house for 5 days. It gets old very quickly. My mom and I are already fighting a lot because we have both been stuck in here for awhile. I can't even clean to get my mind off of things because my room was clean when I got here and I haven't even unpacked because I'll be stuck here for at least a few more days so whats the point in having clothes besides my yoga pants and UPS shirts. Well, I just remembered that I need to do laundry because I have no more clean underwear. Eh, I'll just do that tomorrow before I eat breakfast.

Today my mom started yelling at me because I 'messed up' her kitchen. She said I trashed it after I baked cookies. Sorry, I didn't know loading the dishes that could go in the dishwasher and washing the ones that couldn't was so bad? Should I have just left them in the sink piled up? I guess having the cookies on a cooling rack for a few hours before I put them away is a crime. I pretty much have just been sarcastic and not talking to her at all for the entire night. It just bugs me when I put in effort to do something and I get treated like crap. Sorry that I didn't run the dishwasher. I literally put three dishes in there and I completely filled it up. If you think it needs to be run after that maybe you should've started it before I even came along. She blames everyone. When she is in a bad mood and my dad accidentally drags in a little dirt in the laundry room before taking off his shoes, it is the end of the world. She complains how dinner is going to be late because the dishwasher wasn't run so there's no place for the dirty dishes. It was barely 5:00 and we never eat before 8 if we're lucky. Start the dishwasher. Another argument that arose this evening was about when my mom blamed my dad for losing HER phone charger. My dad and I have the same phone so we have the same charger meaning we NEVER touch her charger. I guess earlier today she was blaming my dad for losing it and guess where she found it? Out in the barn with HER stuff. She didn't even apologize to my dad which I thought to myself she never apologizes for anything just comes up with excuses. Then he said the same thing. It's like my dad and I are telepathic. I have a very happy family but when I was younger I always wondered if my parents were to get divorced who would I live with and the answer would be my dad because we take each others jokes and sarcastic comments. My mom takes it literally then I get the stink eye and put in a worse mood which keeps the comments going leading to me getting grounded when I was that age. I guess I am just in a bad mood because I don't have a choice of going anywhere. Yes, the snow is here and I don't want to drive in it. But if it were just an icy road I probably still would be here because I don't get to choose if I drive or not. I am 20 years old, I should have the liberty to choose what I do. I swear I am going to be 35 and my mom will call me and tell me I can't go do this or that. I still feel like I'm 16 with my parents telling me what I can and can't do. Tonight I went to go grab a cookie that I slaved over to make this afternoon and my mother tells me I can't eat it in my room. It's like I am reliving my evil teenage years again. I am almost legal to drink, but can't eat a cookie in my room. This is chaos. I just want the snow to melt already. I've basically already accepted that I will not be able to hang out with anyone during Thanksgiving break. Tomorrow, the snow will still be here unless it hits like 60 degrees tomorrow morning before I wake up. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday I am babysitting during the day and then finally Monica is coming over (let's hope!). Saturday I have to spend all day with family for a funeral and don't know what time I'm getting back so it's impossible to make plans for Saturday night. Then Sunday, I go back to school but before I do I'm going to get coffee with Rachael. I guess this break is a good one for homework and cooking things I will get in trouble for later. Tomorrow my dad and I (and possibly my mother) are going to trek to Safeway and get some groceries. I need to get things to make Monica dinner on Friday!

I am making a lovely dinner for her to show her that I can cook. I'm not sure what I'm making yet. Well actually I have a pretty good idea but I know she will read this and I want it to be a surprise :) She is making me watch Avatar, ya know the movie with those blue people. I heard it is really good. Everyone always gives me a weird look when I say I haven't seen it. I should make a dessert to drown my sorrows in as I watch this movie. So Monica, what would you prefer for a dessert for me to make? And don't say cookies I'm sick of those right now. I should try out my mad pie skills that Amanda taught me.

Well I don't know what else to say. I watched Glee and about four episodes of How I Met Your Mother. I was laughing so hard. Ted on HIMYM is my soul mate. We both jump to conclusions when we meet someone. It was hilarious. But, the website I was watching it on doesn't let you watch more than 72 minutes of video at a time so I had to stop, which depresses me.

That is all I have for now. I just hope the snow melts so there can be sanity within this house. I need to see socialization!!! I hate being secluded from the world! I don't even have neighbors to really spy on, well my mother does. I swear she makes up stories. Like..."oh she left the house so they are getting divorced" she is crazy. Okay, I am going to stop ranting on how crazy my mother can be.